Wanted: Time Machine?

After a long time. Long enough, that I barely remember.Finally, I registered for a First Aid and CPR Course.

It took me a completely empty summer schedule and a subtle unintended reminder from a close friend who is an EMT to remind me of this hankering. I know it seems very petty for me to heigthen the dramatic usage of words only to arrive at my first aid course experience. Well, if you know me at all, you would understand that my decisions are usually ushered by a reason.

I’ve never really told many people about this. But, I was one of those cursed people who watched their family members die right next to them. I was twelve when my grandmother had a cardiac arrest while sleeping. Completely hopeless, I just called for help. No one told me about CPR or prepared me for such circumstances. All I could do was sit there and watch my parents take over.

Funny how that incident has been buried under other memories over the decade. Today in class, Dr.Rashid somehow pointed at me and asked what would I do if I saw someone having a cardiac arrest and not breathing. By now, the answer was already programmed, CPR.

Two things happened throughout my course. I learned a lot about the Malaysian mentality when it came to learning about First Aid, and I was reminded why I wanted to be a doctor in the first place. My close friends would know that, I really wanted to be doctor at one point of time. (I promise I paid full attention during class!)

The Malaysian mentality:

There is a lack of awareness when it comes to these skills among Malaysians. I was enlightened today during class that the typical mentality is call 999 (Malaysia’s version of 911) and everything will be alright. Truth is, time is so limited that waiting for an ambulance to arrive is not going to make any difference. Humans’can only surivive 4 minutes without oxygen and a typical ambulance arrival time is far beyond that four minutes. Same thing goes to choking, rushing to your nearest hospital is not going to be helpful if your friend is literally suffocating in the back seat.

Some of my lucky friends who has been a member of Red Cross or St John Ambulance is often exposed to these circumstances. What happens if you’ve been living the rock and not knowing what to do. The worst part is no one understance the importance of these knowledge until you are in a time of need.

Doctor once:

Following SPM (Malaysia’s most importance public examination), I wanted to be a doctor. For some unknown reason, I’ve always had a strong urge to be a doctor. I myself never knew why. Perhaps I was a victim of the typical “Indian Holy Trinity of education” mentality (Doctor, Engineer and Lawyer). Do anything else from these courses and you’d be considered a failure by some Indians. Perhaps it was my subtle upbringing, watching my dad work in a hospital has somehow rubbed on me. Or maybe, it was the countless number of House, Sanjeevni or ER that I watched growing up.

Took me two years to realize that I wanted to be a doctor because of the practical knowledge it brings. Think about it, as a doctor you have the knowledge to save a life. You would never have to watch helplessly when someone is in danger. To some extent, I understood that a being a doctor is indeed a gift because you have the largest ability to help. Would you not sleep in peace everyday knowing you made a difference?

Of course, that’s the bright side of it. In reality, the classes are painful, the experience of loosing a patient could be haunting, and the burden of “knowing” can sometimes be too much. Today, I consider myself lucky that I did not end up pursuing a medical profession.  I have friends who often complain about the superfluous workload and expectations on them. More than that, I realized that I do not need to be a doctor to make a difference in a person’s life.

Please forgive my deep reflection. I am laughing at how I started from first aid and then pivoted to a completely different topic. Even now, as I am typing this, I’m undecided whether to share this piece. To some of my friends, the first aid course is literally no big deal. But, I hope that someone reading this would be inspired to learn it and that in turn might come in handy one day in making a difference.

For all of my friends intending to attend medical school or those who are already there, please take time to reflect on your reason for this life. I hope I affirmed some of your thoughts or at least made you think again. Please feel free to drop some comments on the shoutbox on the right column.

Regards,

YOLO.

A reflection: Nasi Lemak and Grits

Nasi Lemak: An iconic Malaysian food, served with creamed rice, spice, anchovies, cucumber and eggs. One of my most favourite (favorite) breakfast dishes in the country.

Grits: A Southern cuisine, made up of coarsely grinded corn and seasoned with some salt or sugar. Oftentimes served in Lils together with eggs priding the perfect Southern breakfast.

Funny how as you read this, there is going to be three kinds of people. One who knows what Nasi Lemak (Creamed Rice) is all about and question the meaning of the word ‘Grits’. The other, completely opposite, understanding what grits is all about but probably has the faintest idea what an foreign two-lettered word is doing in the title. Finally, the third kind who is either completely exposed to both cultures, well-read, or has been my victim of continuous presentation on Malaysian food and how they beat everything American.

I hope by this time, you are completely appalled by my assiduous attempt to paint the “victim” picture on international students. If that’s the case, then I consider myself an amazing ambassador and spokesperson for my fellow international community. However, the aim of this post is not to explain the cultural differences I face being the only Malaysian at Oxford (since Deisi is now a graduate), instead a personal reflection on how much I’ve changed ever since my arrival at Oxford last fall. As I do this, I invite all of you reading this to take a minute or two, to walk down memory lane and ask yourselves the same question.

August 2011:

I hated the way I left Malaysia. Everything was completely rushed. I had to miss important send-offs and most importantly, I hated leaving my family behind. I still remember the feeling sitting on the bench at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) while counting minutes till my departure. I’m sure all of us felt the same way leaving our family behind for college nothing special there. But what was heavy is the thought of leaving your family and having literally no plans to return back home anytime soon. While I survived on the thought that my best friends were in the same boat, I was engulfed on the fear of what to expect. It was backpacking to some extent. A completely crazy one. For that, I learned how to accept complete ambiguities in life and have faith.

Fall Break 2011

By this time, I’ve almost learned the art of getting around Oxford, Emory and a bit of Atlanta. Everyone was busy returning home this time; I dread the sound of bags being strolled across the quad. Somehow, that sound is classically conditioned to remind me of home. My break was humble. I met up with random Malaysian friends, Hue and Roshan at Georgia Tech. My remedy for ‘nationality-sickness’. I never really gave Hue much credit for being an amazing host. Well, thank you Hue for being an amazing host. Roshan, thanks for the Starbucks mate. Walking around Atlanta and taking my first Marta ride was exciting for some weird reason. It wasn’t because that was my first time in a city; it was because I couldn’t help comparing Atlanta to Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia’s capital). It was that phase; where I compared stuffs I am comfortable with; with stuff I now had to get used to. For that, I learned to get out of your comfort zone and accept new environment. A skills that came in handy when breaking social barriers and talking to people you’ve never met before. That explains my non-stop chatter to everyone, sometimes crossing the boundaries of professionalism and privacy. My close friends would agree with this statement the most

Winter break 2011

To sum everything in one paragraph is being unjust. Refer to my previous entry titled “Living of a Suitcase”.

January 2012

New year! I had the liberty to experience the finest hospitality at New York, thanks to Omar. Once again, I would like to express a huge gratitude for Omar’s generous offer to bunk at his place. While I was clueless where to stay for a week, my sociology buddy gladfully extended his invitation. I never really told him how much his family reminded me of mine. A family of four, working parents with two sons. Everyone in complete balance with each other. Not to mention a loving grandmother who prepares good food.

After that, was my Leadershape experience. I have to admit, one main reason why I applied for Leadershape was the one-week accommodation that I needed and the low participation fees that came along with it. Once again, funny how underestimating something never goes well. I ended up having one of the best college experiences at Emory and Oxford. Alien Invasion for the win! For that, I learned how to put aside my ego (which is huge) and accept favours (favors) and ask for help when you need it. Something that came really hard for me.

Spring Break 2012

Read my post “ASB 2012”.

January and February went by really fast. Exams, quizzes, tests and presentations obscured my memory about time! It was in March that Resident Assistant (RA) results were announced. Something I was looking forward to. If not for the perks but for the company and the opportunity to work with amazing people. Funny how I also met good friends during this period. Friends that I know would be real friends (I hope) making Oxford’s middle-of-no-where tolerable. Friends that I know would not drive me to N***** Medical Center (Centre) in case something happened.  For that, I learned how to appreciate people better. Something that not many people might know, layered by my sarcasm and remarks, nevertheless true. Its this time that I realized why people chose to remain at Oxford. It wasn’t the fancy place (if it’s fancy at all), it’s the company and the ability to be close to people that happens behind those walls. It wasn’t about how many students that went to a school that mattered, it was always about how many do you really know. For that, I learned indeed quality matters than quantity.

Summer 2012

Long awaited time of the year. Also my “Energon” (Transformers), getting through finals and the stress that came along with it. It was during finals I realized an important nature of human beings, especially Oxford students. We get closer to people when they are about to leave. My Hindu Student Association (HSA) sophomore board was an amazing group of people, epitome of Brown people as I would call it (it’s up to you to define Brown). I remember the night before my departure to Malaysia, how we literally changed the lobby into our bedroom, talking about our college experiences. I remembered how best friends sacrificed time and energy to spend one last night with each other despite their busy schedules. I know, it is too much to ask for the same group of people to be freshman and sophomores, but I guess that is what makes you grow up. More importantly, that reminds you that a change has occurred in your life. For that, I learned to appreciate people as you see them, not bottle your feelings up for the right time.

While enjoying my favourite (favorite) dish of Nasi Lemak after a year. I was reminded how much I’ve changed, physically and mentally. My taste buds are at war adapting to the spice and rich taste of Malaysian foods, but my mind often flashes grits whenever I see rice. A dramatic-honesty. My friends make fun of my 24 hours availability on Facebook at times. The truth is it’s my way to telling myself that I am connected to both worlds despite location. It’s hard to explain the need of being connected. Funny how as I type this I realize that I do find a need to be connected to my American friends, the same way I felt the need to be connected to my Malaysian friends while I was away. Perhaps, it’s high time I realize that I have two homes now. One, hometown glory as Adele puts it, Malaysia and the other a completely isolated place and squirrel-land, Oxford. #fml