Monday, December 5, 2011

Wrapping the semester




Exactly 10 days before winter starts. Oxford has yet to be blessed with the presence of snow. Nevertheless, I am still grateful for Georgia's weather. Where else in the world can I wear shorts in the middle of winter? Only in Georgia.

6days left before finals and this is the perfect time to write about my classes this semester. Makes me appreciate what I have learnt so far and how it made me a better man.

One of my favorite class this semester was Introduction to Psychology. To me, this course was basically teaching me to learn about myself. The best thing about this class was the practicality of it. It doesn't take much to use what you learnt at class in your life. You don't need cash, capital or even fancy machines to use what you learned in class. One of my personal favorite is the sequence of "eat, sleep and study" that Dr Lewis suggested. I realized how simple things makes a huge difference in people's life. Did you know changing your light's color can actually effect the way you behave and concentrate?

Funny how psychology also makes me judge and appreciate my parents simultaneously. Never knew the statement "mak bapak tak ajar"(your parents didn't teach you) was actually true after all. Interesting how the decisions you make are not actually yours alone, it's a sum of all the aspirations of your close friends, parents, teachers and yourself put together. Question is, do you really own yourself?


Sociology 101 explored the dimensions and dynamics between people. It's like looking at the same coin but analyzing it from two perspective. To me, it was more like a puzzle. Taking an individual, taking him apart and trying to make sense of those pieces. I read a piece titled "Ain't No Makin it" by Mcleod this week. It's about two group of kids living in the same neighborhood but having different aspirations. One group worked really hard in school and maintained good grades, while the other was just indifferent. 8 years later, both of them ended up somewhat the in the same jobs and circumstances. What exactly happened?

All this while I use to blame people for their incompetency, lack of ability and character. I never really gave thought as too why are people the way they are. Sociology showed me that it's not much of a choice how people choose to present themselves, it more of a circumstance and their background that dictates how they act. Is it fair to compare and judge competency of a farmer's son compared to Prime Minister's wife? Were they given the same chance and resources? Sadly as it may sound, that is how every system in our society works.

Brings me back to the polemical issue of scholarships in Malaysia. I myself used to believe that meritocracy should prevail, but I stand corrected. If meritocracy was ever practiced in scholarships, I am afraid the inequality will be larger. Is it fair to push away a poor rubber tapper's son who got 6As as compared to the daughter of doctors who had private tutoring and obtained 10As?



I took swimming this semester. Deliberately didn't attend the placement test to get a place in intermediate swimming (Don't judge).

This class was a matter of personal choice. I simply didn't want to "thrash" swim all my life. I still remember how badly I panicked overtime my feet couldn't touch the bottom of the pool. It wasn't so funny back then.

One thing I learnt in swimming class is fighting your fear needs time and support. When my class started swimming, none of us dared to jump into the deep end. Only when one of us starts pushing their limits did we all even dare to consider the possibility. I was lucky being in a class full of friends who not only supported but also encouraged each other. Next time you consider ridiculing someone for their fear, ask yourself what have you done to help them overcome it?

That's all for now & comments are welcomed.



Friday, December 2, 2011

Fast Car



I am in Oxford. I can't believe I am in Oxford. I travelled across the globe to finally be here. Seems like yesterday I was sitting on the bench at KDU studying with dear friends and often having group discussion or busy eating my vegetarian food from down the road. Can't even explain how much I miss my Malaysian food. The spice, the taste, the texture and of course the price!

I am here at Oxford, not the real one if any of you are wondering. I wish, but it's okay I have learned to come in terms with fate. God after all does know well, I should know this by now. Many important things happened this semester, I was blessed with many leadership opportunity on campus, meeting wonderful people, and most of all, I have finally discovered what my true passion is.

I bagged the top in Malaysia for law in my CIE examination this time. My ego was scratched at first for not being top in the world, but like mother always says " Something better than nothing". This award means so much , it's often a reminder of the strength of passion. Mostly, it's a reminder of my settled debt.

How is America? I honestly can't tell. Apart from the food, weather and accent, it's pretty much the same as Malaysia. I guess coming from a diverse background and being trained to be an outlier made me see similarities more than differences in people. A survival skill as I will call it.

Do I regret being the only Malaysian in my class? It doesn't really bring much of a difference. Sometimes I wished I had more Malaysians to talk to, putting on a fake "american accent" can be very tiring sometimes. Why do I need to fake it? Well, it makes communication a lot easier. If not in Oxford, at least when I go shopping at walmart.

Finals is coming soon, and things are starting to be stressful. The only thing that keeps me going the is thought of winter break. I can't wait for winter. It's my first time exploring America. Seeing America as a bigger picture being trapped in Oxford's cacoon is indeed a new experience.






Sunday, July 31, 2011

MacBookpro internet scam!!

Hi,

Before we go further, let me explain on the item. Actually this item is an underwater (Customs/Kastam) item. Which means this item has been seized due to tax problems. There is no middle man involved, therfore you are getting it direct, this is why it is cheap. I have a few units to be sold, therefore, you do not have to Bid. You could purchase direct from me without having to Bid. Due to limited stock, i base on first come first serve basis. Who makes the payment first, gets it.

Regarding the Warranty, Full Warranty for 1 Year will be provided by Apple Hong Kong. This is because item came in from Hong Kong. Not only that, from my side, i will offer 3 months Full warranty. Which means, if there is any problem or you are not satisfied with the condition, you can ask for a replacement (1 to 1 Switch) or full refund will be given. This item is 100% Brand new and Original. Not an imitation, recond or 2nd hand unit.

For your information, i do not do COD or COC services. This is for the safety of both parties. Payment can be made through Bank transfer. Once payment being made, item will be ship to you via courier on the same day via poslaju. Shipping charges will be covered by me. Unless you require it to be sent by other courier companies like Citylink, GD Express, etc.. then you have to add the differences. Once Shipping had been done, i will sms to you the tracking number. Im sure you will wonder, how if you already made the payment and the item did not arrive? Do contact me and i will explain in detail how this deal could be secured.

Anyway, my contact number is 017-634 9774 Encik Naz. Do contact me if you want to know more about the transaction or the security of this transaction.

Thanks

Monday, June 20, 2011

Found you


Been so long now,
I cant believe its been so long
While I never thought I would find you,
I still never thought that you could be the one,

Lying slowing and immersing in you portraits,
I see nothing but the right checks,
Although decision is too early,
distance is a problem,
I still cant tell,
will you be the one?
that change me into someone I longed for?

While I worry
I may not provide you with what I should,
I am also scared that you wouldnt not understand
I am trying my best too
Either way, I am happy,
For I have found you.

I am going to go for you,
and I am going to leave it to HER,
as I always do.
I found you.



Sunday, June 5, 2011

Baby Dont cry

Even if you are crying
No different jilgeot
You said even if you are crying,
nothing will change.

But why you are you crying?
Finally, close your eyes Do you like
But why are you crying?
Why are you closing your eyes as if this was the end?

Laugh Now, it’s the last twelve
Everything is in the past, now smile.

Even though it left many people this song forever you at the Formal
I leave it to all the guys still standing here, I’ll be right beside you
Baby don’t cry baby don’t cry baby don’t cry
Someday I’ll shine, give me your smile
Baby don’t cry baby don’t cry baby don’t cry


By Eknock

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Glass Box


Glass Box

I was patient
staring out from the glass box,
looking at how you are moving away
Helpless and lonely than one imagined

it has been long since I threw away the keys
loneliness now turn into anger
yet you take no pride in noticing it
despite such sacrifice

what hurts the more
is the circus you treat me
every time you pass my containment
you taunt, and scratch
to awaken the animal for your amusement

well, gone the days of containment
i shall now let myself free
free enough to scorch you if you ever taunt
all I need is that key,
that I once threw away to keep myself from hurting you
all you need is to wait.
I getting out from my glass box

Crossroad


Crossroads

Thousand days have passed,
thousand stares at the mirror
mulling over the roads
one brittle the other a rock

Couldn't one have both?
Perhaps time for a wise thinking
perhaps what is loved is never loved
and what is dulled is never dulled

the heart wonder,
over the road not taken
would mother and father be any other?
would the common worry disappeared?

As time crawls by
diluted in the rocky dry road,
as comforted as the molds on the frames
one still wonders,
over the crossroads
I do not think I will regret choosing this rocky road
at least time will tell.
it is only to the time to answer
nothing else




Saturday, May 28, 2011

funny



Do you remember?
our first meeting was a lie
you were innocent while I was everything but an innocent man
funny how you believed me,
funnier how I believed you believed me

two years has passed,
traces of the meeting lingers like an accident would
not with blood stains but with smiles

I feel like a father some times,
holding your hand and giving you directions
although they are only mere speakers that are never followed

Its still funny,
how you know everything about me
while I only know what I can see
funny,
how I kill you with my standards
while you kill me with your emotions
funny,
how we find the common enemy
despite such differences,
funny how I still lie to you despite these years

numbers have never been important,
since we shared the same passion
funny how those number only makes sense when we are around each other

If my depart comes, then its going to funnier
that we are still friends despite thousands of mile
funnier that your choices are always so stupid
its the funniest when we are friends
despite we are different
Funny.

dedicated to the best friend
SS

Glimpses


It has been quite some time
since I have mourned my pretense
thinking that you would be the one
crying in jealousy ,dying in sleep
Its sad to know that you would never know
more, that I am scared that you would know

I still have glimpses of you
at least, its no longer a picture
but mere memories.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Thursday, May 19, 2011

It was bad




Maths was everything but good. I panicked in the exam, forgot my formula and left out few questions each carrying out 10 marks. I am practically severely doomed. Forget an A* I am hoping for luck to grant me at least an A. I am severely devastated and depressed. My ego cant take such mistakes.

I look at my tutee Farzana who is happy with whatever she does, and I learn to appreciate what I have. Perhaps its god's way of telling me, you should major in something Mathematics in life so that you can feel satisfied. or even its god's way of telling me that you know you mathematical ability limits now, so plan wisely.

Either way, I quote my best friend shangkaree "You are one of those people who no matter what ends up getting the best of life". So the question is, do you trust God enough to not worry?

I recieved an Insipirational mail by Naqiah today, one example include. "I dont get mad when my husband is a couch potato, at least he is with me". "I dont get mad when the lawn isnt mowed at least I have a house". I dont care whether my maths was screwed up, at least I have the chance to study.

Bhagavad Gita

"Neither in this world nor elsewhere is there any happiness in store for him who always doubts."


Om shakti Karumari.



Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Maths












Tommorow is my P3 exam and god know how scared am I.
Of course, getting an A should be okay, but its the A* that we are competing for.

Biggest fear:
I turn scared, panic, angry because I cant answer the question
They lump one question into 12 marks and expect you to solve without any sub questions
Most importantly, doing careless mistakes

Strategy
1. avoid all prove questions untill last seconds of the paper
2. do all the questions that have sub questions first
3. check it right the first time


Hopes: I want my bloody A*!

The sun
















Everyone loves you,
for your beauty, for your wealth even for your character
I loved you for your heart

I have know you for such a short time,
it really does seem like eternity
I can understand words even before you say them
I can picture hearing your voice even when I am alone
You make me a real man when I am with you

Deep down, i always knew its never going to work
most importantly, i was afraid
risking what we had for something that only could
you are far too precious to be gambled away
I remained silent because I needed you more than you ever know

Perhaps that is my mistake,
silence is not golden after all
typing this, i feel weaker than ever
realizing that you will never be mine

I am happy you found someone else,
someone that makes you heart feel warm
I am happy because I know of that your someone
You will be happy with him I am sure
I shall see you from far
Just like how I see the sun
for you are my very first,
I hope I meet someone like you
that way I can be with you
even when you never knew how i felt of you.

Your truly,
Lord Denning