9/11 From Far Away

I was 10 years old when 9/11 happened. Of course, due to time difference, it wasn’t till the next day I finally watched the clips. Sad to say, at that point of time, it was merely something I watched on television. I had no emotions or thoughts for everything that happened. Why would I? It wasn’t the twin towers in Malaysia.

Despite being young and ignorant, I remember floods of opinions that filled the front pages of the newspapers. Some criticizing the act of terrorism, while some turning that issue to remind America for their interventionist policies. Of course, none of these arguments made sense to me. All I knew was innocent people have died, and I feel the term innocent should be all that matters.

Today I had the chance to attend a small service to remember those who have died during that incident. I knew that my presence as an international student did arouse some curiosity among some. Why would a non-American care about that incident? The truth is, I wasn’t there to feel like an American, I was there as a fellow human, who shares the same sentiment and emotion as any other American would when you lose something.

Sometimes, people mistaken that you have to “walk a mile in their shoes” to truly understand something. Well, to me it doesn’t matter where you come from. It matters how you connect with people who do not come from the same walk of life.

I saw people from different ethnicity and even nationality present in that service today. It made me realize how universal this incident has been. I might not have lost a family in the tragedy but I definitely feel the pain of my friends who did. That’s all that matters to me.

While I consider myself a member of human race more than anything else, I’d like to take this chance to ask people around me. If this happened in Malaysia, would you be there for me as how I will be for you?

Summer wind

It’s hard to believe summer has gone by so fast. Funny how it seems like only yesterday I said goodbye to my friends at school. Today, I find myself dusting the black suitcase, my loyal companion.  It’s almost time to leave.

My friends tell me the first summer is always the hardest. It’s only because you grow to appreciate the finer things you leave behind. I’m already beginning to miss the sound of LRTs passing by, or the heavy engined Rapid buses I rely on everyday. But somehow, I have little regrets about this summer.

My otak2 internship lasted for two months. I can’t even begin to describe how impactful my experiences have been. Meeting different corperate partners and mingling among my cohorts have been an invaluable experience. I liked the diversity of it, my friends come from different walk of life and we all meet at this crossroad, deciding which path to take. Otak2 has made my career path easier, as now I know my options. 

It's come to my sense that knowing your options is actually a privillege. Many people go on with their lifes without thinking of a different possibillity. In the end, we never really left where we started. To me, knowing your options meant more than opportunities. It's actually a gift to expand you knowledge. More that that, it helps you dream big.

My internship at Rohde & Schwarz was an interesting experience. For someone who’ve countless engineering friends, I had no idea what the company did. My only reference was google.

I prepared myself in every way I could for my internship. I assumed as an innocent intern, I’d have to make coffee or photostat documents. In fact, I even went memorizing roads around my office, in case I’d have to do despatch. Funny, how all my preparation ended up in vain. Instead of making coffee, I made proposals for events. I produced the first internship brochure for my company with no knowledge or artistic skills (the brochure turned out fine) . In place of despatch work, I ended up touring local universities with my manager.

The value of my internship at Rohde & Schwarz was the mindset I gained from my peers. The emphasis was on learning how to learn something. I have to be honest here, I did cost my company a lot. I’d say a good RM19 000 was put side for me to “learn”, making Rohde & Schwarz the most generous employer. How many bosses out there would allow a fresh intern lead an expensive project with no experience? Well, mine did. Either they were crazy or they had faith in me. Well, I think they were crazy.

Summer past by swiftly. All of a sudden, I’m here ready to get back to Oxford. One more year before I’m here again on my bed writing another post. I hope it past by fast.

This time, I’m better prepared.

Letting Go

I’ve got 20 days left in Malaysia. Things are starting to hit me. I’ve started to appreciate the buildings I usually pass. I no longer read books in the train, I spend time gazing the skylines and observing the people around me. Somehow, these small things begin to matter.

 I ask myself everyday, is my education abroad really worth it? Am I really lucky or am I merely hired to play the role of my nation’s pride?

 I come back once a year, only if my bank statement permits. Yet it feels as if I havent been in this place for ages. The road changed and new buildings have long been erected. It’s sad sometimes, I’m feel like a tourist in my own country.

 I looked back at how my American education helped, and words can’t sum up how much it’s impacted me. It was my very own “admantium”, building character.

 I no longer accept facts blindly as how I was trained, I question them. In fact, I find more intellectual pride in asking questions. Some of my military friends would disagree with me, like they say “those who don’t obey, can’t command”. For me, that phrase does not develop leadership, it makes it easy.

 Being away made me care even more. I no longer have the patience to tolerate political-lunacy. In fact, my expectations have only increased. I silently judge people who don’t take the country seriously. If you don’t, who else will?

 At this point of time, I’m not sure whether I’m ready to leave Malaysia. There is just so many things to experience and get done. The thought of leaving itself makes me feel guilty. How could you leave something, when it is in need of you?

I know leaving home is going to be hard. I haven’t found the right “thought” to justify it. I know many things await me at Oxford. I know I have assume all my responsibilities soon. The thought of leaving home might be hard, but you never know the value of something, until it’s taken away from you.