Lessons beyond Lectures

I’ve always been a very introspective person. Microspecting each and every detail around me. From the random colored dots on my wall to the scratches on my cellphone. Could it be that this world that we live in is subtly speaking to us? Could it be that there is no such thing as an accident, but mere signs that play a crucial part in determining our life course.

Think about it, tiny scratches on your phone makes you more careful not to drop your phone. You then develop alertness and reflex to prevent your phone from falling. This mental state is then extended to help you carry out activities such as driving, cooking and even playing sports. The ripple effect is never ending. To think all of this from the mere scratches on your cellphone is far fetched. But, the possibility of the interconnected signs in life is undeniable. Could it be that this is the real mantra of life? Everything you do will have an effect. Is this what people call Karma?

I often question myself, why do people have different personalities? Aren't we all biologically the same species. If so, shouldn't we have more similarities than differences. Perhaps it's because the world speaks differently to us. These experiences draw our personalities and determine how we interact with each other. 

I've learned patience and determination from the fragile old man who scavenges our neighborhood trash. How patiently he goes through people's trash just to find recyclable items that he could exchange for some change, so that he wouldn't have to starve himself for that day. No scorching sun or rude owner could stop him.

I've learned loyalty from the little dog who has been repeatedly abused by his owner, but yet obeys every command.

I've learned empathy from the old lady who is both deaf and mute but yet understands each and every word of her customers.

I've learned usefulness from the little kids in India, who collect dried leaves to make plates for themselves.

I've learned the value of privilege from kids who walk for miles without shoes, under the scorching sun.

I've learned that you are the sum of how you view things around you. There is no better teacher than life itself. So start learning.

9/11 From Far Away

I was 10 years old when 9/11 happened. Of course, due to time difference, it wasn’t till the next day I finally watched the clips. Sad to say, at that point of time, it was merely something I watched on television. I had no emotions or thoughts for everything that happened. Why would I? It wasn’t the twin towers in Malaysia.

Despite being young and ignorant, I remember floods of opinions that filled the front pages of the newspapers. Some criticizing the act of terrorism, while some turning that issue to remind America for their interventionist policies. Of course, none of these arguments made sense to me. All I knew was innocent people have died, and I feel the term innocent should be all that matters.

Today I had the chance to attend a small service to remember those who have died during that incident. I knew that my presence as an international student did arouse some curiosity among some. Why would a non-American care about that incident? The truth is, I wasn’t there to feel like an American, I was there as a fellow human, who shares the same sentiment and emotion as any other American would when you lose something.

Sometimes, people mistaken that you have to “walk a mile in their shoes” to truly understand something. Well, to me it doesn’t matter where you come from. It matters how you connect with people who do not come from the same walk of life.

I saw people from different ethnicity and even nationality present in that service today. It made me realize how universal this incident has been. I might not have lost a family in the tragedy but I definitely feel the pain of my friends who did. That’s all that matters to me.

While I consider myself a member of human race more than anything else, I’d like to take this chance to ask people around me. If this happened in Malaysia, would you be there for me as how I will be for you?

Summer wind

It’s hard to believe summer has gone by so fast. Funny how it seems like only yesterday I said goodbye to my friends at school. Today, I find myself dusting the black suitcase, my loyal companion.  It’s almost time to leave.

My friends tell me the first summer is always the hardest. It’s only because you grow to appreciate the finer things you leave behind. I’m already beginning to miss the sound of LRTs passing by, or the heavy engined Rapid buses I rely on everyday. But somehow, I have little regrets about this summer.

My otak2 internship lasted for two months. I can’t even begin to describe how impactful my experiences have been. Meeting different corperate partners and mingling among my cohorts have been an invaluable experience. I liked the diversity of it, my friends come from different walk of life and we all meet at this crossroad, deciding which path to take. Otak2 has made my career path easier, as now I know my options. 

It's come to my sense that knowing your options is actually a privillege. Many people go on with their lifes without thinking of a different possibillity. In the end, we never really left where we started. To me, knowing your options meant more than opportunities. It's actually a gift to expand you knowledge. More that that, it helps you dream big.

My internship at Rohde & Schwarz was an interesting experience. For someone who’ve countless engineering friends, I had no idea what the company did. My only reference was google.

I prepared myself in every way I could for my internship. I assumed as an innocent intern, I’d have to make coffee or photostat documents. In fact, I even went memorizing roads around my office, in case I’d have to do despatch. Funny, how all my preparation ended up in vain. Instead of making coffee, I made proposals for events. I produced the first internship brochure for my company with no knowledge or artistic skills (the brochure turned out fine) . In place of despatch work, I ended up touring local universities with my manager.

The value of my internship at Rohde & Schwarz was the mindset I gained from my peers. The emphasis was on learning how to learn something. I have to be honest here, I did cost my company a lot. I’d say a good RM19 000 was put side for me to “learn”, making Rohde & Schwarz the most generous employer. How many bosses out there would allow a fresh intern lead an expensive project with no experience? Well, mine did. Either they were crazy or they had faith in me. Well, I think they were crazy.

Summer past by swiftly. All of a sudden, I’m here ready to get back to Oxford. One more year before I’m here again on my bed writing another post. I hope it past by fast.

This time, I’m better prepared.

Talk to me

Food.

We all eat food. While our food selection might differ, the general idea of eating is the same. We eat not only to satisfy our physical need, but also emotionally. Many people ignore the emotional aspect of eating. I consider the act of ladling your food itself carrying a deeper significance.

By now, I’m going to assume you have heard of my favorite food, Nasi Lemak. (If you haven’t please browse my previous posts).

In some ways, I consider Nasi Lemak a friend. Someone that has been there for me in ways you can’t even imagine. Funny how for someone who doesn’t have a human attribute, it sometimes “speak” to me in subtle ways.

I was five when I had my first Nasi Lemak. I could still remember the “crunch” sound eating the dried anchovies. I have to admit, I’ve always had an unexplained addiction to this sound. I liked how despite the hard nature of anchovies, I had the ability to crush them and enjoyed the brittles in the process. No matter how salty or hard the anchovies were, I’d go on and never stopped. In some ways, this thought me perseverance. To keep going on no matter how hard things get.

Growing up, I always had the privilege of walking to school. My parents were convinced that no one would kidnap me along the way (they were right).

It was the thought of reaching the Nasi Lemak stall nearby that kept me going. It was my own version of a reward for attending school. Over the years, this reinforced my attendance in school. I’ve never skipped class (deliberately at least) in my 11 years of school. In fact, I’d often be the shinning example of perfect attendance. I’d like to thank Nasi Lemak for that. I realized to keep people going, they need motivation. That’s why often times I share with people the benefits they get from working on something. It helps to put the right perspective in place. Today, I am the president for most clubs I’m in. All I did was follow my Nasi Lemak’s advice.

Exams were never really my favorite part of school. I consider exams as Stress Management Practical. Nevertheless, I had my own share of stressing out. On the day of exams, I’d normally buy a packet of Nasi Lemak and carry it to school. I liked how nasi lemak in packets required diligence in opening them. You always had to start from the right side so that your Nasi Lemak would not make a mess. Over the years, I’ve turned into an expert when it came to this. I’ve learned how to analyze different packaging and ways to unfold them. Similarly, when I found different problems, I’ve always twitched my methods to fit the problem until I find the right formula. In exams, I stick to the most effective methods to solve equations and write essays. As a result, I’ve earned a good grade. More than that, I’ve understood the importance of finding the right path in doing something.

Nasi Lemak has given me another reason to love Malaysia. In fact, I dread leaving Malaysia because I’d have to miss a year of my good old friend. To be honest, I was contemplating whether to learn how to cook Nasi Lemak. In one way, it was my way to feel closer to home. But I ask myself, if I could make Nasi Lemak whenever I could, would it take away the special bond we have. Could reproducing mean it’s no longer special? More than that, could it mean that I’m not letting Nasi Lemak “speak” to me subtly, as how it always did.

Letting Go

I’ve got 20 days left in Malaysia. Things are starting to hit me. I’ve started to appreciate the buildings I usually pass. I no longer read books in the train, I spend time gazing the skylines and observing the people around me. Somehow, these small things begin to matter.

 I ask myself everyday, is my education abroad really worth it? Am I really lucky or am I merely hired to play the role of my nation’s pride?

 I come back once a year, only if my bank statement permits. Yet it feels as if I havent been in this place for ages. The road changed and new buildings have long been erected. It’s sad sometimes, I’m feel like a tourist in my own country.

 I looked back at how my American education helped, and words can’t sum up how much it’s impacted me. It was my very own “admantium”, building character.

 I no longer accept facts blindly as how I was trained, I question them. In fact, I find more intellectual pride in asking questions. Some of my military friends would disagree with me, like they say “those who don’t obey, can’t command”. For me, that phrase does not develop leadership, it makes it easy.

 Being away made me care even more. I no longer have the patience to tolerate political-lunacy. In fact, my expectations have only increased. I silently judge people who don’t take the country seriously. If you don’t, who else will?

 At this point of time, I’m not sure whether I’m ready to leave Malaysia. There is just so many things to experience and get done. The thought of leaving itself makes me feel guilty. How could you leave something, when it is in need of you?

I know leaving home is going to be hard. I haven’t found the right “thought” to justify it. I know many things await me at Oxford. I know I have assume all my responsibilities soon. The thought of leaving home might be hard, but you never know the value of something, until it’s taken away from you. 

Mathematics of Religious-ism

Mathematics of religious-ism
Disclaimer: If you’re a narrow minded, who expects everyone to convert to your religion because you think it’s the best solution to all world problems, kindly leave this page.Today, I’m calling out people who have been the culprits of inter-faith arguments over the years. Please read on and help me identify anyone you may know.

1)        I read a ridiculous article online yesterday. A so-called “Muslim” preacher trying to ridicule Hinduism through slides and presentation of our pantheon. I quote, “ The reason I’m doing this is not to ridicule other religion but to help people realize the beauty of Islam”. Help me make sense. How does ridiculing other religion help enhance one’s belief in a different religion? Even if does, how could anyone compare two completely different religions and arrive at a conclusion? I call these people, “Skewed-boxplots”.  “Skewed” because they are prejudiced, biased and refuse to understand other religions in their own terms. “Boxplots” only because they live in their own rectangular world with perfect edges, pushing other religions to the furthest point possible. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Muslim preachers. I went to a 99.9% Muslim populated boarding school, and I had a great time learning about Islam. In fact, my close friends are Muslims who earned my respect.  What I’m against here is ridiculing other religions regardless of your affiliations.

2)        Next up is my personal favorite. I call them, “lower-rangers”.  They are people who are who scout the Internet for articles relating to their religions and constantly share it in an attempt to spread awareness or think themselves as “rangers” of their religion. Now, again don’t get me wrong. Sharing it is perfectly fine; in fact, I like to read different articles about different religion. Problem here is when you share without researching. Thousand of people these days, self-proclaim themselves to be religious masters. Some who actually spend time researching and analyzing claims, while the others who “lower” their researching habits and merely share and like articles that might not even be from the right source. In the end, everyone loses out. A foreign reader might assume what you share is right, while a believer might think you are spreading the wrong information, causing further conflict.

3)        Meet the complete opposite, “higher-rangers”. These people often appear to be completely well read and knowledgeable people who have obtained multiplied degrees from various institutions around the world. Yet, they have a habit of sharing their “high” collection of knowledge and expect people to embrace them as the ultimate fact. Even better, they often use their intelligence or credentials as an advantage to allure crowds to belief their “facts”. Often times, the “lower-rangers” fall prey for these people, accepting blindly everything that comes under the label religion.

4)        Finally, let me introduce the “medians”. These are people who choose to remain neutral throughout their life. People who know real facts, or experiences that can help educate other people, but choose to remain silent. I guess, it’s true what people say, silent people are indeed the people who gets the most out of everything. I have to admit, I often fall under this category. Not because of my “knowledge” but because I choose to remain silent. I’ve always thought educating people might not bring any difference. Especially if they have not been exposed to diverse cultures as I did. The thing is, I’m beginning to realize that all these years of silence has only helped two things; ignorance and religious-ism.  I feel the guilt when close friends do not understand religious differences. More than that, I feel burdened by the thought that these people will be parents and pass down their mentality to children.

Thousand of people live in fear to practice their religions or even to admit they do not believe in any religion. I often question myself, what is the purpose of religion? To me, religion is an individual process, which provides a guide to our spiritual journey. In the end, it doesn’t matter what religion you are, but how far have you advanced spiritually. You know you are in the right track, if you could detach yourself from your routines and see the world as a beautiful picture it is, and thank the “painter” behind it.

So, the solution for religious-ism is simple.  “Skewed-Boxplots” needs to be eliminated. How? “Lower-ranger” need to step up their game by researching and be careful about what they share. “Higher-rangers” need to stop acting superior and respect others as also being able to contribute. Most importantly, medians need to break their silence and start explaining when you need to. Increase your “lower rangers” and decrease your “higher rangers”, and take away “medians” and close the gaps between the “skewed boxplots”. All you get is a straight line. Everyone perfectly aligned in a single line pointing upwards towards a better humanity.

Can You Hear Me?

I often hear people complain about the liberal education system in the United States. Some say it's completely unnecessary, while some people (like me) prefer the privilege to explore and "hunt" for new areas that might be of interest. Perhaps it's cultural thing, growing up in a strict Asian culture which emphasizes on Math and memorizing, I have to admit that my education background has only given me the extraordinary ability to regurgitate large facts accurately. Maybe, that's why I applied to Oxford in the first place. I consider Oxford's special "Masala"(spice) of Inquiry Courses as the only education that is able to satiate my thirst to understand why I am even in college in the first place. For once, I wanted to know what and why am I learning something.




Last fall, I took sociology as a random class to fit my HAP requirement. I had no idea what sociology was about. To be honest, Google was my only reference to it's real meaning. It took me a while to get use to the reading load assigned by Professor Gordon. Nevertheless, it was never a problem. I enjoyed reading those reading assignments. They seemed realistic and practical. While my higher level math classes made no sense to me, sociology not only made sense but also challenged it. Of course, everyone thinks differently.


It was in this class that I watched a video titled "Brown Eye Blue Eye" by Jane Elliot. A teacher trying to educate her third-graders a lesson on racial discrimination. A simple but powerful video. ( Watch it )


Jane Elliot's extraordinary desire to make a difference was more than a classroom lesson. It was a reminder that each person can make a change if they wanted to. Since then, I've always been a big fan of small differences that goes a long way rather than big differences that make huge headlines. I had a vision to conduct the same classroom lesson in a Malaysian classroom setting, and with the support of my teacher (Mr Oo), Professor Gordon, Leadershape family and Jane Elliot herself, I had my first class lesson today.


I had to admit the road for this project was really rough. Being a picky big time dreamer, I had big plans for this idea. I wanted to target every secondary school in my state to be my specimen. Unfortunately, time did not permit and many school authority dismissed the idea saying it may be too provocative or unnecessary. Finally, I shrunk my target to a single class of 20 students. 


The full detailed observation, methodology and discussion is here

I realized two important things today. How universal the theme discrimination really is. 30 years ago, the only famous discrimination was racial segregation. Today, we have gender, socioeconomic status and even sexuality discrimination prevalent among us. Makes you wonder, as we "progress", is discrimination really being eradicated or perhaps increasing with the materialistic differences we observe? Perhaps discrimination has always been part and parcel of the society and only now it's gaining the much deserved attention. 


Funny thing is, we are all defined by discrimination. In fact, the term "discrimination" itself is different to each and every one of us. I noticed in class today how my theme of racial discrimination evolved to include sexism and bumiputera status (Malaysian racial debate). Let me ask you this, what is the first thing that hits you when I tell you the word "discrimination", is it fair me to assume that your first thought has to one extent shaped your memory and personality today. If it's true, then we have a long way to go in making a difference to eliminate discrimination. If no, then I stand corrected. 


All my life, I've lived as a minority. From the the only Indian in my high school to the only current Malaysian at Oxford. Things has been both amazing and ugly for me. What keeps me going the thought that I represent something big. At Oxford, I consider myself the spokesperson for entire 29 million Malaysian population. It's no surprise I never fail to talk about Malaysia. The feeling of being a part of something bigger than you is a unlimited mana (energy source) that keeps you going no matter what. My advice, find your energy source and hold on to it. Believe it or not, this source is going to make you do things you never thought you would have done.


You know what else is a growing energy source of the future?


Change